


Never Have I Ever...Part Two

by viviegirl05



Series: Drinking Games [3]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alcohol, Confessions, Drinking, Drinking Games, Never Have I Ever, drunk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-07
Updated: 2019-05-07
Packaged: 2020-02-27 11:32:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18738172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/viviegirl05/pseuds/viviegirl05
Summary: Another game of never have I ever with the Avengers





	Never Have I Ever...Part Two

It had been two days since Thor had taken Jane to Asgard to introduce her to his people as his beloved, and Darcy was bored out of her mind. Like any good twenty-something, Darcy coped with boredom by drinking, or, more specifically, by playing drinking games with super hunk superheroes. She rounded them all up in the common room and informed them that they were playing never have I ever, no questions please, this is non-optional, you MUST play, so grab a bottle of booze bitches!

They arranged the chairs and couches in a loose circle and all took a seat, drinks in hand and a collection of bottles on the table in the center of the circle. “Alright fuckers, things are gonna get awesome,” Darcy may have indulged in a few pre-game cocktails. “You have to say something awesome, and you have to take a real mouthful of booze not just a sip. RHODEY YOU FIRST!” She ended on a scream, which they all realized would probably be a common thing with her as Jane had warned them that she was a loud drunk.

“O-kay,” Rhodey chuckled. “Never have I ever hurt myself trying to impress a girl.”

Sam, Bucky, Steve, Tony, Clint, Peter, and Darcy all drank.

“All right, list off your injuries people!” Darcy cried.

“I broke my pinkie leaning the seat back in my car, trying to be smooth.” Sam admitted, “she never knew, I told her they were tears of joy.”

“I got a shiner from a guy when I stood up for a gal in a bar back in 1937,” Bucky shrugged, “he didn’t like me pointing out he was disrespecting a lady.”

“I...may have jumped out of a plane with a parachute in 1942 to impress Peggy...I got stuck in a tree and got all cut up getting out of it,” Steve blushed.

“I jumped off a second story balcony into a pool and missed. Broke both legs,” Tony deadpanned.

“I accidentally shot an arrow into my foot when I was showing off for a girl,” Clint disclosed.

“I totally ate it trying to ride a skateboard and impress a couple girls,” Peter said.

“I fell off a bar and got a concussion,” Darcy admitted without shame.

“My turn,” said Natasha, “never have I ever walked out of a movie because it was bad.”

Clint, Darcy, and Peter drank.

“What movie?” Tony asked.

“Paul Blart: Mall Cop,” Darcy and Peter both said.

“Gigli,” Clint said.

“Yeah, Gigli sucked,” Tony agreed.

“Ok, never have I ever…” Bucky started. “Fallen asleep in public.”

Peter, Darcy, and Tony drank.

“I fell asleep on a rooftop once...or more than once…” Peter admitted.

“I passed out in a couple bars,” Darcy shrugged.

“I passed out in a lot of bars. And at a lot of parties,” Tony bragged.

“Me now! Never have I ever…” Clint looked eager, “smuggled my own booze into a club so I didn’t have to pay for drinks.”

Darcy, Wanda, and Natasha all drank, toasting each other as they did so.

“Never have I ever broken something at a friends house and not told them about it,” Darcy said superiously.

Clint, Wanda, and Natasha drank.

“WHAT WERE THE ITEMS?!” Darcy screamed.

“I kinda...broke a toilet,” Clint grudgingly admitted.

“What do you mean, you broke a toilet?” Tony asked.

“I was trying to climb out the window and I slipped onto the toilet and the porcelain bowl shattered.”

“I broke a toilet that way too!” Wanda looked shocked, “I never thought I’d have that in common with someone!”

“I spilled champagne on a painting and when I tried to clean it up the frame broke,” Natasha shrugged.

“Ok, my turn,” Steve looked like he was thinking very hard. “Never have I ever...shoplifted.”

“Seriously?” Darcy cried as Natasha, Clint, Bucky, Wanda drank. “You? Captain America, Mr. Morality, he-who-can-do-no-wrong, has never shoplifted?! Color me NOT surprised.” She rolled her eyes before taking a large swig of her manhattan.

“Moving on,” Sam said with a smile, “never have I ever taken a bad fall because I was walking and texting at the same time.”

Tony, Darcy, Peter, and Clint drank.

“Yeah, I’m not really surprised by that turn out,” Sam chuckled.

“Me now! Never have I ever hitchhiked,” Wanda grinned, enjoying the game.

Only Bucky and Clint drank.

“I was on the run from Hydra for a long time, I travelled across countries. Obviously I would have hitchhiked for some of it,” Bucky shrugged.

“I got blackout drunk once and woke up two towns over without a wallet. I hitchhiked back to my hotel,” Clint disclosed.

“Ok, never have I ever tried to cut my own hair,” Peter provided for his turn.

Wanda, Steve, Bucky, Clint, and Natasha drank.

Wanda, Bucky, and Steve looked at each other, “there weren’t really any barbers around in the war,” Steve said. “And Hydra wasn’t about to provide a hair stylist for me,” Wanda finished.

“I grew up in the circus, kinda had to do things for yourself,” Clint shrugged.

“I learned in the Red Room, so that I may disguise myself more efficiently,” Natasha said demurely.

“Alright, my turn,” Tony said, twisting his mouth as he thought. “Never have I ever...had a surprise party thrown for me.”

Peter was the only one to drink. He looked around, looking surprised. “Wow. You guys are sad. Your lives are sad,” he said, shaking his head.

“Me again. Never have I ever had a dance party in an elevator,” Rhodey said with a look at Tony.

Tony, Clint, Darcy and Peter drank.

“College is a wonderful place,” Peter said.

“A place where you can do whatever you want and no one judges you,” Darcy added.

“I just like dancing,” Clint said. “Did you guys really have actual people in the elevator with you?”

“They joined in when we stopped at their floor,” Tony explained haughtily. “Couldn’t get anyone to join you?” He smirked at Clint.

“Let’s move on before this turns into a pissing match,” Natasha intervened when Clint scowled. “Never have I ever had a paranormal experience.”

Darcy, Wanda, Bucky, and Steve drank.

“Really guys? Supernatural shit doesn’t exist! Respect the science!” Tony cried.

“Say what you want, I SWEAR that book flew off the shelf on its own,” Darcy justified.

“I can literally sense spirits with my powers,” Wanda arched an eyebrow at Tony.

“And haunted buildings get you better rent prices,” Bucky shrugged.

“It wasn’t like we had a lot of money during the Great Depression, anywhere we could save money, we did,” Steve added.

“Anyway,” Bucky said, “never have I ever dropped my phone in a toilet.”

Tony and Clint drank.

“Really?” Rhodey asked.

“Did the phones still work?” Sam asked, nose scrunched like he was disgusted but curious in spite of himself.

“Are you kidding? **I** made it! Of course it still worked!” Tony boasted.

“Dude gross! You still used a phone after it had been in the toilet?!” Sam looked repulsed.

“Clint, it's to you!” Steve intervened before things got grosser.

“Never have I ever,” Clint chuckled. “Set someone else’s hair on fire...on purpose.”

Tony and Peter drank.

“You shouldn’t go to a lab in college while high. I thought she looked cold and was trying to warm her up,” Tony said.

“I made it look like an accident. I set his test on fire because he had been cheating off me the whole time. He tried to put out the fire by waving it around and kinda set its own hair on fire,” Peter smirked slyly.

“Nice,” Darcy nodded at Peter. “Never have I ever...had sex outside.”

Tony, Rhodey, Sam, Steve, Bucky, Natasha, and Clint all drank.

“Seriously? ALL of you had sex outside?!” Darcy cried.

“Aw, Darce, are you feeling left out? You know, we can fix that…” Tony leered.

“NEVER HAVE I EVER,” Steve diverted the situation, “cheated on a test.”

Darcy, Wanda, and Clint drank.

“Classy,” Sam said with a look. “Never have I ever had a crush on a friend’s parent.

“FUCK YOU WILSON!” Darcy screamed before taking a healthy swig from her drink as they all laughed. “See if I tell you anything anymore,” Darcy muttered.

“Alright, never have I ever,” Wanda said through her laughter, “been trapped in an elevator for more than 10 minutes.

Tony, Rhodey, Peter, Darcy, Bucky, Steve, Clint, and Sam drank followed by an awkward silence.

“Ok, that turned out not as funny as I thought, let’s move on…” Wanda said.

“Never have I ever,” Peter jumped at the topic change, “gone camping.”

Steve, Bucky, Sam, Rhodey, Clint, and Natasha all drank.

“Yeah, that makes sense, the soldiers and assassins had to spend time in the wilderness,” Tony said. “Never have I ever pressed send then immediately regretted it.”

Peter, Darcy, Steve, Clint, and Sam drank.

“Peter and Steve make sense, they’re awkward, but what’s up with the rest of you?”

“Sexting is not my forte…” Sam blushed.

“I realized autocorrect messed with my words and it said something...not ok,” Clint carefully didn’t look anyone in the eye.

“What did it autocorrect do? And what was it supposed to say?” Rhodey asked with an evil grin.

“I was texting Coulson, we were picking people up for a thing...I meant to say ‘I got Cap’ but it changed to…’I got cock’” Clint and Steve both blushed as they others roared with laughter.

“Ok, never have I ever,” Rhodey started, wiping tears of mirth from his eyes, “given a lap dance.”

Tony and Natasha drank.

“Oh you know what this means!” Darcy yelled. “LAP DANCE OFF!!!!! PETER, I VOLUNTEER YOUR LAP!!”

Peter laughed but agreed with a nod, standing to help move the table and replace it with a chair from the dining room table. They all gathered around as Peter took a seat, Natasha and Tony playing rock, paper, scissors to see who would go first. Tony “won” and got to go first.

“Jarvis, play ‘Pour Some Sugar On Me’ por favor,” Tony called out, stutting up to Peter who couldn’t hold back a grin. Tony started with some simple gyrating of his body, loosening up, before planting his hands on Peter’s knees and arching his back and leaning forward, into Peter’s space, and circling his hips. After a few seconds he turned, sitting on Peter’s lap face out, and grinding, Peter’s hands coming to his hips. Tony then spun around and gyrated as he sunk to a closed-legged squat, hands on Peter’s knees, before rising again and shaking his hips sexily. A few more minute of dancing and Tony finished, taking a bow as everyone clapped and cheered.

“Let’s see if you can beat that,” Tony goaded as he passed Natasha.

“Don’t get cocky,” she quirked an eyebrow as she walked to Peter. “Jarvis, play ‘Naughty Girl’ by Beyonce.” Natasha started by gyrating, running her hands through her hair and arching her back. She then spun and bent at the waist, shaking her perky, perfect ass in Peter’s face before rising, arching her back and smoothing her hands down her breasts and sides, spinning to straddle Peter’s lap and grind, one hand on his shoulder the other running through her hair before she rolled her neck, pushing her breasts forward. She continued along that vein until the end of the song, curtsying with a smirk as the others cheered.

“Ok, both shows were AWESOME, like so hot,” Darcy grinned, “but I think Natasha wins.”

“No, I liked Tony’s more,” Clint called.

“Yeah, Tony all the way!” Wanda shouted, toasting his with her drink as he tipped an imaginary hat in her direction.

“No way, Natasha was way better!” Bucky yelled.

“Ok, ok, let’s just agree that they were both great,” Steve said, trying to keep the peace.

“Whatever, that was super hot, but back to the drinking!” Darcy cried.

“Game,” Sam reminded her.

“Game,” Darcy corrected herself.

“Alright, it’s my turn,” Natasha called, calming the noise of the group. “Never have I ever...laughed so hard I peed my pants,” she grinned wickedly.

“FUCK YOU ROMANOFF YOU PROMISED NEVER TO MENTION THAT!!!” Clint shrieked.

He, Tony, and Darcy drank amidst uproarious laughter.

“Ok, ok, me now. Never have I ever thrown up because someone else threw up,” Bucky smirked at Clint.

“OH WHAT THE SHIT IS THIS?!” Clint screeched as he and Peter drank.

“Fine, never have I ever...cried in public,” Clint sulked when he couldn’t think of anything to use against Natasha and/or Bucky off the top of his head and only Peter and Darcy drank.

“Lame.” Darcy deadpanned, “never have I ever drunk texted for a hook up and had it actually result in sex.”

Tony, Rhodey, Natasha, and Wanda drank.

“Does it count if we passed out halfway through?” Peter asked.

“Depends. What’s halfway through?” Darcy looked intrigued.

“We were naked and making out, lube and a little hand stuff, and I woke up with two of his fingers in my ass,” Peter blushed lightly.

They all laughed as Darcy declared that it DID count and Peter took a hearty swig of his seven and seven.

“Steve, you now!” Bucky announced.

“Never have I ever lied about a family member dying as an excuse to get out of something,” Steve said.

Tony, Darcy, Clint, Sam, and Rhodey drank.

“Seriously guys? I’m disappointed in you,” Steve gave them the “Captain America Is Disappointed In You” look.

“Whatever, old man,” Tony rolled his eyes.

“It’s the best way to get what you want,” Darcy declared as if it was obvious.

“Alright, my turn,” Sam grinned. “Never have I ever chipped a tooth.”

Wanda, Peter, Tony, Clint, Bucky, and Steve drank.

“Y’all need to invest in mouth guards,” Sam shook his head.

“Jarvis, make a note- I need to invest in mouth guards!” Tony shouted at Jarvis.

“Noted,” came the crisp, British-accented response.

“Me now! Never have I ever,” Wanda started, “mooned,” she shrugged.

Tony, Clint, and Darcy drank.

“Unsurprising,” Natasha declared.

“Never have I ever…” Peter thought for a moment. “Gone skinny dipping.”

Tony, Natasha, Rhodey, Clint, and Bucky drank.

“Was anyone else around or was this just solo freeballing?” Sam grinned.

“I had a pool at my house,” Tony scoffed.

“That doesn’t answer the question, Tones,” Rhodey smirked. “Answer the question.”

“Fine, there _may_ have been a skinny dipping party,” Tony revealed.

“ _A_ skinny dipping party?” Rhodey arched an eyebrow.

“FINE, it might have been more than one,” Tony groaned.

“How many?” Peter asked.

“Yeah, Tony, how many?” Darcy grinned impishly.

“Two or three...maybe sixteen…” Tony grudgingly admitted as they all roared with laughter.

“Sixteen?!” Rhodey looked surprised, “why was I only invited to seven?”

“You were deployed, Honeybear! I wanted you there!” Tony cried in his defense.

“Alright, the rest of you, details, now,” Darcy demanded as she laughed.

“It’s not like I always had running water or whatever. Lakes and rivers and stuff are a decent way to get clean,” Bucky shrugged.

“Same,” Natasha and Clint nodded in agreement.

“Moving on, never have I ever,” Tony said, “thrown up on a roller coaster.”

Sam, Rhodey, Steve, and Clint drank.

“To be fair, I rode that coaster seven times in a row,” Clint justified.

“And it was before I got the serum,” Steve pointed out, “I probably wouldn’t throw up now.”

“WE HAVE TO GO TO A THEME PARK TO SEE IF CAPTAIN AMERICA THROWS UP!!!” Darcy shrieked.

“Jarvis, clear my schedule the day after tomorrow. The Avengers are going to Coney Island!” Tony cried as everyone cheered.

“Alright, never have I ever,” Rhodey started when they all calmed down. “Driven drunk.”

Tony and Darcy drank.

“Yeah, that was shocking,” Natasha rolled her eyes. “Never have I ever picked a wedgie in public.”

Darcy and Clint drank shamefully.

“LETTING THAT SLIDE, BUCKY YOU’RE UP!” Darcy yelled.

“Fine, never have I ever masturbated to a cartoon character,” Bucky smirked.

Darcy, Clint, Natasha, Peter, Steve, and Tony drank.

“Name your character! Mine was Aladdin!” Darcy announced.

“Dimitri from Anastasia,” Natasha admitted without a shred of embarrassment.

“Jessica Rabbit,” Clint said.

“Betty Boop,” Steve acknowledged.

“Ariel from The Little Mermaid,” Peter stated.

“Nice choice,” Tony said. “Mine was Daphne from Scooby-Doo.”

“Alright, so everyone has surprisingly good taste in hot cartoon characters,” Sam said. “Something I never thought would come up.”

“My turn! Never have I ever been on a blind date that ended horribly,” Clint smiled.

Peter, Darcy, Sam, Rhodey, Natasha, and Clint drank.

“You’re not supposed to drink when you’re the one that said it!” Steve cried with a grin.

“I know! But I _also_ know that Natasha has a GREAT blind date story and everyone deserves to hear it!” Clint justified.

“TELL US! TELL US!” Darcy, Tony, and Peter chanted.

“Fine!” Natasha gave in, “but I want to point out that it was for work. It turned out to be a bust, but whatever. I’m just glad I never had to see him again. He showed up dressed as Gene Simmons in full KISS gear- makeup and everything- but with dreadlocks. He smelled _horrible,_ had nasty dirty fingernails and gross teeth- guy needed a dentist and probably oral surgery it was that bad. And had the worst table manners I had ever seen. He used the tablecloth as a napkin, chewed with his mouth open, and burped loudly and often. It was disgusting. At least I didn’t have to lead him on once I found out he was a dead end. And thank _God_ I didn’t have to kiss him.” Natasha shuddered at the thought.

“Nasty. My date wasn’t gross, but it still sucked,” Darcy said.

“So what’s your story?” Natasha asked.

“He took me to a five-star restaurant, ordered the most expensive thing on the menu, then ‘forgot’ his wallet, sticking me with the $600 bill knowing I was an unpaid intern.”

“Well that’s dick energy if I’ve ever heard it,” Peter stated.

“I can top that!” Clint cried, “I was going on a date with a guy, for a mission, like Natasha. He had a giant tattoo of sperm on his chest that he showed me in the first ten minutes of the date. He also talked to each bite of food in this weird baby voice with sadistic content before he ate it. Worst part was he was actually involved in the human trafficking ring I was investigating, so I had to pretend to be into it and get a second date.” Clint shuddered so hard he practically gagged.

“Sounds noxious. My bad date just had a ‘cum dumpster’ tattoo on her lower back- which she showed me immediately- and got pissed when I didn’t want to have sex in the bathroom, flipped a table and screamed obscenities at me as she stormed out. All before the waiter even got us water,” Sam made a face.

“Wow. Can you say anger management?” Peter laughed. “I once went on an internet date with a guy when I was 17, he turned out to be 45 and kept trying to get me drunk the whole time, then tried to convince me to go back to his place and ‘hang out.’”

“What the hell, I hope you reported that guy to the police!” Tony looked appalled.

“I did, I called 911 from the bathroom halfway through the meal- apparently someone else had already called it in, so the cops were already on their way. I told them to turn off the sirens and I would stay to make sure he was still there when they arrived. His expression was hilarious, he kept trying to say he was innocent and wasn’t trying to do anything wrong, but the wait staff and people at the table around us backed me up that he was super skeevy,” Peter chuckled.

“That’s terrifying and creepy as hell, but I’m glad you called the cops. I should have had one of my dates arrested for a psych eval.” Rhodey started. “She brought giant stuffed bear to the restaurant, and ordered food for it. She freaked out that it wasn’t eating and started crying hysterically, then she got drunk on white Russians and puked all over the table before telling me she was sorry but ‘Carter’- the bear- was the love of her life and she just couldn’t do that to me. It was weird.”

“Wow. You guys need to vet your dates better,” Bucky said.

“Yeah, seriously,” Steve agreed.

“Moving forward,” Darcy declared. “Never have I ever actually laughed out loud when I typed LOL.”

Clint and Peter drank.

“Yeah, that wasn’t a very good one,” Darcy sighed.

“Fine, I’ll go,” Steve said. “Never have I ever ridden a mechanical bull.”

Bucky, Rhodey, Peter, Sam, Tony, and Darcy drank.

“Dude, you gotta check out Mardi Gras in New Orleans,” Darcy informed Steve.

“Alright, as punishment for your unadventurous life,” Sam warned Steve, “never have I ever had an allergic reaction bad enough to send me to the hospital.”

“Steve you better down the whole drink for the number of times that happened to you!” Bucky guffawed as Darcy tipped the bottom of Steves glass, making sure he drank all of it.

“Ok, never have I ever had sex with someone twice my age,” Wanda announced.

Tony, Peter, and Natasha drank.

“College professor,” Peter and Tony explained at the same time, looking at each other and clinking their glasses.

“It was for a mission,” Natasha brushed off the judging looks coming her way.

“Never have I ever…” Peter pursed his lips in thought, “gone into the wrong bathroom.”

Tony, Clint, and Darcy drank.

“I don’t know about them, but I totally did it on purpose,” Darcy declared proudly

“Yeah, I was just super drunk,” Clint said.

“It was a single-stall bathroom, we were having sex,” Tony said, completely unashamed. “Also, never have I ever been to the Grand Canyon.”

Steve, Bucky, Clint, and Sam drank.

“It was a road trip,” Steve smiled.

“Losers,” Darcy fake sneezed.

“ANYWAY, never have I ever had moonshine,” Rhodey said.

Tony, Steve, Bucky, Natasha, Darcy, and Wanda drank.

“Alright story time! Was it homebrew or store bought and how much did you have and what happened?” Sam asked.

“Some guy made some in his dorm room at MIT, Rhodey-bear told me not to but I drank some anyway. It was super strong- that’s when the window-jumping happened,” Tony explained.

“Moonshine was cheap and easy to make, people made it at home all the time in the 30s,” Steve shrugged.

“Everyone drank moonshine back then,” Bucky added.

“Natasha took me and Wanda to this crazy underground rave a few weeks ago. It was awesome,” Darcy grinned.

“I don’t actually remember what happened after dancing and having 3 shots of the stuff,” Wanda tilted her head to the side.

“Its for the best,” Natasha patted her on the head.

“How bad was it?” Tony grinned wickedly.

“Let’s just say that you won’t know until the statute of limitations runs out,” Natasha smirked slyly. “Now,” she shook her hair out of her face, “never have I ever returned a clothing item after wearing it once and keeping the tags on.”

Darcy, Wanda, and Peter drank.

“Fancy dresses are hella expensive,” Darcy said emphatically.

“Plus it’s not like you’re going to wear them more than once,” Wanda agreed.

“I’m just poor,” Peter shrugged.

“Not anymore you’re not,” Tony slung an arm around Peter’s shoulders protectively.

“O-K, never have I ever had trouble sleeping after seeing a scary movie,” Bucky interrupted the tender moment.

Wanda, Peter, and Steve drank.

“You did that on purpose,” Steve scowled.

“Obviously,” Bucky rolled his eyes with a grin.

“Did he sleep in your bed that night? That’s what Peter did,” Tony laughed.

“Peter slept in your bed?!” Darcy cackled.

“Steve made me spend the night on the living room couch with a baseball bat,” Bucky crowed.

“Nice!” Sam whooped.

“Wanda did that with me, but a gun instead of a baseball bat!” Clint cried as they all bellowed with laughter.

“So what were the movies?” Darcy asked, tears streaming down her face as she struggled to hold in her peels of laughter.

“It,” Peter admitted.

“The first Saw movie,” Wanda said. “Clint said I would like it, but it just reminded me of Hydra and their experiments,” she shuddered.

“Vampyr. It was a double date,” Steve divulged. “Needless to say, it did not go well.” They all roared with laughter again. “It was really creepy!” Steve tried to justify only to be met with more laughter.

“Ok, ok, never have I ever,” Clint began, “been catfished.”

Darcy and Tony drank.

“Remind me to install some identity-verifying programming on your phone,” Tony said to Darcy, “I developed it after I was catfished- WHICH ONLY HAPPENED ONCE THANK YOU VERY MUCH,” Tony shot a pointed look at Rhodey.

“Alright, my turn,” Darcy shook her hair out of her face. “Never have I ever finished a sudoku without help.”

Tony, Rhodey, Peter, Natasha, Bucky, and Sam drank.

“What’s sudoku?” Steve asked, confused.

“It’s a number puzzle game,” Peter explained.

Steve still looked confused.

“The classic Sudoku game involves a grid of 81 squares. The grid is divided into nine blocks, each containing nine squares. The rules of the game are simple: each of the nine blocks has to contain all the numbers 1-9 within its squares. Each number can only appear once in a row, column or box,” Wanda read off her phone.

“What?” Steve _still_ looked confused, so Wanda showed him a picture of a sudoku grid. A look of understanding came over Steve’s face, “oh yeah, Bucky does those sometimes. Ok, my turn. Never have I ever...had sushi.”

Rhodey, Bucky, Sam, Peter, Tony, Natasha, Clint, and Darcy all drank.

“Really? Me and Wanda are the only ones?” Steve cried.

“Bigger question, why have you never tasted the exotic excellence that is sushi?!” Tony asked.

“It’s raw fish,” Wanda scrunched her nose up in disgust.

“It’s gross,” Steve agreed.

“Whatever,” Sam rolled his eyes. “Never have I ever fooled around in an elevator between floors.”

Tony, Rhodey, Peter, Darcy, Wanda, and Bucky drank.

“For real? Y’all nasty. What if you got caught?!” Sam tried to look judgmental but it really wasn’t really working with the smile he couldn’t suppress.

“What makes you think I _didn’t_ get caught?!” Tony waggled his eyebrows.

“It was uncomfortable to say the least,” Rhodey grimaced.

“What, _you_ were the one who caught him?!” Bucky chortled.

“Me...and my superior. Whose daughter was in the elevator with Tony,” Rhodey reluctantly admitted, leading to cacophonous laughter.

“Ok, me now.” Wanda smiled, “never have I ever...had cereal for dinner.”

Clint and Peter drank.

“I’m lazy,” Clint shrugged. “I didn’t want to cook.”

“Again, I’m poor,” Peter said, “was. Was poor,” he corrected after a glance at Tony. “Moving on, never have I ever...risked more than $5 on a card game.”

Everyone drank.

“In my defense,” Peter help up his hands, holding off their comments. “I suck at card games.”

“It’s true. Kid has no poker face whatsoever,” Tony agreed. “Never have I ever...been the designated driver.”

“SHOCKER,” Darcy deadpanned as Rhodey, Natasha, and Steve drank. “The people with borderline-suicidally stupid best friends have been designated drivers. I never could have seen that coming.”

“Whatever, at least we didn’t leave anyone to pass out behind a bar or wherever,” Steve grumbled.

“My turn,” Rhodey adjusted himself in his seat. “Never have I ever danced on a bar.”

Tony, Natasha, Darcy, Wanda, and Clint drank.

“Natasha, bit of a surprise,” Darcy drawled.

“I was undercover as a stripper,” Natasha explained.

“Ah. Did that move make a lot of money?” Sam asked.

“So much. I made over $500 on that one dance,” Natasha smirked. “Now, never have I ever...farted in a meeting with a bunch of my superiors.”

“FUCK YOU ROMANOFF!!!!” Clint wailed as he was the only one to drink.

“SERIOUSLY? WAS EYEPATCH THERE?!” Tony asked excitedly.

“...yeah...I thought if I dropped all my files on the ground it would cover the sound of the fart, but I kinda mistimed it and didn’t fart until it was quiet and everyone was looking at me,” Clint grimaced.

“In case you’re wondering, it was super loud,” Natasha grinned.

“Nice,” Bucky grinned. “Very classy. Alright, never have I ever...made a sex tape.”

Peter, Wanda, Natasha, Steve, and Bucky himself drank.

“Come on man, we went over this with Clint!” Tony cried.

“I know, but I wanted to see who else made one,” Bucky grinned, unrepentant.

“Peter? YOU made a sex tape?!” Tony looked scandalized.

“To be fair, I didn’t know he was recording us. Your algorithm deleted it off the cloud, but he got super pissed when it disappeared and started yelling at me for erasing it off his phone. It was kinda funny in hindsight,” Peter chuckled a little.

“Ok, I’m scarred for life but glad I never have to see it. Clint, say something to change the subject,” Tony flapped a hand in Clint’s general direction.

“Never have I ever,” Clint chuckled. “Congratulated a woman on her pregnancy when she wasn’t pregnant.”

Darcy, Tony, Bucky, and Sam drank.

“I’d like everyone to know that I was shitfaced drunk at the time,” Darcy announced.

“Me too, but it was at a work event if that makes a difference,” Tony confessed.

“The lady kept rubbing her stomach and honestly acted like she was pregnant, so I THOUGHT it was safe to congratulate her,” Bucky justified.

“I was just an idiot,” Sam made a weird face that made the confession 10x funnier.

“Ok, me now. Never have I ever had a pizza with anchovies on it,” Darcy declared.

Clint, Sam, Rhodey, and Tony drank.

“What do you have against anchovies? They're the oceans salty little treats!” Clint cried.

“What the heck no they’re not!” Peter recoiled in disgust, “they’re disgusting!”

“What do you know you don’t even like fish other than sushi you weirdo!” Tony defended.

“Fish without rice and soy sauce is wrong!” Peter exclaimed.

“Fish is amazing and delicious!” Rhodey declared.

“ALRIGHT, lets just calm down, everything’s fine,” Steve soothed. “I believe it’s my turn,” he cleared his throat. “Never have I ever sipped milk straight from the carton.”

Clint, Bucky, Tony, and Darcy drank.

“Yeah no surprises there,” Sam said. “Never have I ever had fun with food sex.”

Tony, Rhodey, Peter, Bucky, and Natasha drank.

“Really? You haven’t had food sex, Darce?” Sam raised his eyebrows at the girl.

“Not yet, but it’s on my bucket list,” she explained. “Now name your food people!”

“Chocolate sauce with some Victoria’s Secret models,” Tony bragged.

“Whipped cream and strawberries,” Rhodey stated.

“Cherries,” Peter said.

“Ice cream, a classic, if you ask me,” Bucky expounded.

“Champagne,” Natasha stated demurely.

“Nice. Never have I ever,” Wanda moved the game forward. “Binge watched an entire series in one sitting.”

Peter, Tony, Rhodey, Clint, Sam, Steve, and Bucky drank.

“NAME YOUR SERIES!!!” Darcy screamed.

“Me, Tony, and Rhodey had a Harry Potter marathon- all eight movies in just under 24 hours. It was awesome,” Peter grinned.

“Me and Steve watch all the Hobbit movies back to back,” Bucky said.

“It was great,” Steve agreed. “We’ve been meaning to watch all the Lord of the Rings movies too.”  
“Jarvis, next weekend the Avengers are having a Lord of the Rings movie marathon!” Tony announced.  
“It is on the schedule, Sir,” came Jarvis’ crisp reply.

“Well I watched Stranger Things last time I got a concussion and the doctors wouldn’t let me go to sleep,” Clint said.

“Excellent choice,” Rhodey nodded at Clint who raised his glass in return.

“Ok, never have I ever,” Peter looked around the group, “...made a mixtape.”

Tony, Rhodey, and Sam drank.

“Seriously? On a cassette?” Peter asked. “You guys are old, but in a totally different way than Steve and Bucky.”

“Hey, respect your elders,” Tony reprimanded.

“Like you do?” Peter quirked an eyebrow at his mentor.

“Never have I ever,” Tony plowed on to a new topic. “Played hard to get.”

“Like anyone would have ever believed that!” Rhodey barked with laughter as Peter, Wanda, and Natasha drank.

“Yeah, it works pretty well when you’re a girl,” Wanda asserted with a shrug.

“Boobs help,” Natasha agreed.

“So does a nice ass,” Peter grinned.

“Awkward,” Sam murmured into his drink.

“Alright, never have I ever,” Rhodey started with a sly, evil look at Tony. “Had to go to the ER because a Ring Pop got stuck on my big toe.”

“FUCK YOU PLATYPUS!!!” Tony screamed as he was the only one to drink. “YOU KNOW THAT WAS FOR A DARE!” Everyone doubled over in laughter.

“Alright, alright, never have I ever,” Natasha grinned. “Sung karaoke in public.”

Tony, Rhodey, Darcy, Clint, and Peter drank.

“We must correct this injustice!” Tony cried, “Jarvis, book us a trip to a karaoke bar!”

Darcy fell off her chair, passing out from the amount of booze she’d had.

“I believe now would be a good time to ‘call it quits,’ as it were,” Jarvis suggested. Everyone agreed, staggering off to sleep off their drunkenness, leaving Darcy where she was as no one felt confident in their ability to safely carry someone somewhere.

The hangovers in the morning were going to be murder.

**Author's Note:**

> Note: I got Sam’s broken pinkie thing from an episode of Dharma and Greg


End file.
